christinchy*

Do you know the feeling when something hurts you so much you have to throw up? When people say things, that hurt you deep inside and can also affect your live really much? I’m not talking about whoever, but about people, that are close to me. And few days ago, I’ve read a quote from Paolo Coelho:

“If you live to please other people, everybody may like you, but you are going to hate yourself.”

And this is how I feel in this moment. When I finally did something for myself, found the one that I loved deeply inside of my soul for past few years, when I was happy and smiling and then they say to me that I’m a disgrace for my family. Thank you. I feel like everything went to ashes and my world collapsed in front of my eyes. I feel so much anger and pain and disappointment and sadness and tears in my eyes. I feel like I have to throw up. I feel like screaming and yelling all over the place and tearing apart everything i can tear and breaking everything that can be broken.

Thank you for the pain you are causing me, thank you all.